Elliott Smith: 20 Years Gone, but Never Forgotten

In the late summer of 1998, my life took an unexpected turn. I found myself touring the United States, a musical vagabond rediscovering his muse. It had been a four-year hiatus from the tumultuous world of rock, a necessary break for me to attend graduate school and focus wholeheartedly on my pursuits in conducting and composing. But as I strummed those first chords and penned new lyrics, I felt something stirring deep within me. The allure of writing songs once more and sharing their acoustic intimacy on my solo tours was immensely gratifying.

Despite the occasional hiccup, like a particularly rowdy, inebriated crowd in Dallas, my journey back into performance mode was met with encouraging nods and warm applause. Yet amid the clapping and cheers, a certain comment began to surface like a persistent undercurrent: "Hey, do you know you sound quite a bit like Elliott Smith?"

At first, my inner voice responded with a reflexive "um, no… I sound like ME," although my polite external response was always a gracious acknowledgment of the compliment. Still, as the miles rolled on, and the echoes of that comparison grew louder, curiosity got the better of me. I decided to delve into Elliott Smith's discography and picked up his latest release at the time, XO, during a pit stop at Nuggets Records in Boston. This album marked a significant departure from his earlier lo-fi recordings, having been released on the major label DreamWorks. The production quality had been elevated, and the songwriting was nothing short of exquisite.

It was here that I had to admit to myself: "Yeah, he sounds a bit like me… just a whole lot better."

Sigh...

As I explored his earlier works and kept up with his new releases, I couldn't help but embrace the kinship we shared in our sonic canvases. It became evident that we both painted our musical portraits with similar colors. It also didn’t hurt that there was a new standard bearer of the sung whisper to help those of us who weren’t born with gigantic voices like those of Robert Plant, Aretha Franklin, etc. feel less alone in the world. In any event, my collection of Elliott Smith albums expanded, and I eagerly seized the chance to see him perform live. I was fortunate enough to catch four of his shows, an experience I now cherish.

Yet, with that privilege also came a heavy sense of sorrow. The first time I witnessed Elliott at La Zona Rosa in Austin, he and his band were in peak form. The intricate finger-picking, the ethereal falsetto notes - every element that adorned his records was flawlessly delivered. As the years rolled on, it was apparent that his playing and singing quality took a disheartening nosedive. His battle with sobriety was a public one, and we watched helplessly as his songs had to be stopped and started. The last time I saw him, performing an acoustic benefit show in 2003, he appeared even more worn and fragile, leaving many of us wondering if he might doze off mid-song.

Therefore, the news that came later that year, his tragic end in Los Angeles, didn't shock as much as it deepened the ache in our hearts. Elliott Smith had taken his own life in a particularly gruesome manner (a detail you can unearth through a quick internet search if you're unfamiliar). I don't often shed tears for people I've never met, but I’ll admit that I wept. I wept for the anguish he bore in the final chapters of his life, but also for the music we were robbed of, a profound loss for those of us who recognized him as one of the greatest songwriters of our generation.

Over the years, my sorrow has evolved into a celebration of Elliott's music. To commemorate the 20th anniversary of his sad passing, I encourage you to join me in this celebration. To help you navigate his enchanting discography, I've included links to some of my very favorite Elliott Smith songs below. Let's cherish the extraordinary gift he shared with the world.

(Cover photo by Wendy Redfern/Redferns)